boonndyy

Friday, September 12, 2008

switch

These past few days, I still look for a face I knew in the crowd. Still looking for a face that I once knew to be as angelic. Maybe its a habit of mine to take a peek, dunno. You've managed to switch something inside of me and I can't figure it out yet on how to turn it close. Somehow its like I got my own radar that always recognize your face, your body and even your slightest shadow. I always see you even if I don't want to anymore.

You used to be in my dreams every night that makes me wake up with a smile but now you've turned into my nightmare, a disaster and waking up is the hardest part of my day. Just a few days ago, I really really wanted to see and talk to you. To have a conversation to clarify things up and as much as possible to end things straight without any misunderstandings and doubts. Let’s get it straight, it didn't happen and I don't miss you no more. I readied myself for that and thought that I was strong enough, well I'm not but with the help of my friends I was more than ready right now.

You were not someone that will hold someone's breath just to stare at you. You were just one of those people that passes by everyday that nobody even notices you. But there was something about you, something so special that I can't even explain. We've been friends for a long time now but not too long ago you've captured my heart. Something that is so unusual because I was never one of those who fall for someone so easily yet you did it with ease. Effortless on how you've managed to bring color to my dull world.

Beautiful in every single way, that's how I looked at you. You captivate me every time we talk, mesmerizing me every single second we're together. I always look forward to talking to you at night either by texting or chatting. You're always the last person I think about before I sleep and always the first one every time I wake up. The simple goodmorning text already makes my day and a goodnight text just makes my problems go away and prepares my mind for another sweet dream with you in it. The times we talked whenever one of us is bored and during those rainy brownout no classes days are just as memorable to me. Conversations about anything, jam-packed LRT rides, and mall gimmicks are nothing compared to the way your hair smell. There is no word to describe the feeling whenever your hands fit mine, on how it always finds mine whenever we are together. Butterflies in my stomach are already a normal occurrence especially when I accompany you on your way home. Experiences that are priceless, nothing else can come close to these.

Midnight melodies are nonetheless the trend since I fallen in love with you. They unravel my thoughts and really giggle and tremble me every time you send a message– playing in my head those midnight melodies… You’re always in my dreams. It seems that you won’t escape in my dream labyrinth.

A cheesy typical story isn't it? And yes like those other stories, we didn't have a happy ending. I don't know what has suddenly happened to us. All of a sudden it was gone, you don't know me anymore. I don't even know the reason for that. I tried to take things back to the way it were but you just won't cooperate. It hit me that we cannot salvage what was lost and there was nothing to continue anymore. I have to let you go because fighting by myself won't get me anywhere.

I first thought that all that I sacrificed was in vain, that is was all for nothing. I gave you all the time that i can manage just to be letdown. But as realizations come along, these experiences will make me stronger. I learned from my mistakes and will try to move on with my life now. The times we had was worth it, there maybe regrets but nonetheless every moment spent with you will be treasured as long as I have not forgotten about you.

It's not easy to move on yet I’m managing to do so. I'm not missing you anymore, just happy that I got my freedom back. Thanks for everything. I'm still gonna be here, not waiting for you though, but to help you in anything you might need help with. As you've said, still friends, its gonna be hard but I'll find a way. Like I always say, goodluck and take care my dear friend.

by bondy at 9:22 PM |